Seth Meyers’opening monologue at the Emmys ‘14.(x)
A big FUCK YOU to the people who tainted my religion, to the people who do evil in the name of a religion that preaches peace. You’re the reason I have to keep apologizing, holding myself back and keeping my head down. I’m done apologizing, it’s not my job to break stereotypes.
I’m scared that if I let myself feel I’m just going to fall apart and I’m not going to be able to put myself back together. So I’m just going to hold it together for now.
What's the most illegal thing you ever did?
manere fortis. Answer:
At Stanford there was this Professor who was a total bitch and she taught British Literature, which was cool. Except she taught only her opinions of the books and it didn’t help me as a writer. I went to school to learn new things to improve my craft, not have someone else’s opinions carved onto my forehead.
So anyway, for our final project, she asked us to write a ten page paper on why the color symbolism in Othello was so significant. I did some research and it turned out that she did her entire graduate thesis on this very subject. I was mad. This wasn’t teaching, this was boosting her ego. SO I wrote a ten page essay on why color symbolism in Othello wasn’t significant, satirizing it to the point of no return, saying that her opinion was an opinion and shouldn’t be taken seriously.
SHe failed me, needless to say. So in retaliation, I responded by baking a batch of brownies laced with weed and laxatives and delivered them myself to the professor hours before her big graduation speech. I told her that it was a peace offering, my way of apologizing and asking if I could do anything to fix my grade.
She refused to fix my grade.
In the end, she shit herself on stage.
I didn’t regret it.
Fuck that bitch